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November 7th, 2004


08:23 pm - it starts
so it all started today im pulling apart the camaro to drop in a new motor and trans maybe sum body adn paint too and then later this week i have to pull the truck motor too.so hopfully ill be rolling in the camaro by the end of this month. that be so sweet. also looking at an 91 eclipse pretty good car for winter and to learn stick, then i got that linicon up north (pimp mobile) so this jan. i get my license and im gonna roll in one or all of these hahaha it be sweet and you cn all just let me know if you need a ride and ill give ya it ( i dont plan on being home so i need stuff to do)
Current Mood: [mood icon] mellow
Current Music: purple pills-d12

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November 5th, 2004


09:32 pm - bored
bored bretts here doing nothing so idk

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October 3rd, 2004


09:21 pm - ryan how could you
My LiveJournal Trick-or-Treat Haul
imxaxloser goes trick-or-treating, dressed up as wigger.
_a_a_r_o_p_s_ tricks you! You get a clothespin.
break0nthrough gives you 18 brown cherry-flavoured gummy bears.
captivated388 gives you 11 mauve chocolate-flavoured hard candies.
hes_allthe_rage gives you 16 tan strawberry-flavoured gumdrops.
sticks_n_picks tricks you! You lose 24 pieces of candy!
sugarcoatedlove gives you 9 light blue peach-flavoured jelly beans.
xhotxstuffx gives you 19 mauve orange-flavoured miniature candy bars.
imxaxloser ends up with 49 pieces of candy, and a clothespin.
Go trick-or-treating! Username:
Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern.

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September 23rd, 2004


08:50 pm - the boy bad
well today was ok i guess went to jason's he drove a lawnmower down a hill crashed it into the ditch and broke it (nothing new) what a dumbass and then i went with devyn to josh's sat around, went to kyles passed around a foot ball layed on his driveway talking about uhh nothing (kyle hates me haha) and then i came home and had an idea i call it a boy band heres how it goes!NaStYRiderBmX: i think
NaStYRiderBmX: i should become
NaStYRiderBmX: a
NaStYRiderBmX: country singer
ryanizzzzle: why
NaStYRiderBmX: cool hats
NaStYRiderBmX: and shinny boots
ryanizzzzle: haha
ryanizzzzle: no.
NaStYRiderBmX: oh come on they make what $5 a cd thats good right?
NaStYRiderBmX: ok how about
NaStYRiderBmX: ummm
NaStYRiderBmX: a
ryanizzzzle: actually they dont
ryanizzzzle: the musicians themselves make pennies
ryanizzzzle: after a quarter million albums are sold, the record company gets over 700,000 in profit
ryanizzzzle: while the actual musician makes less than 14000
NaStYRiderBmX: oh
NaStYRiderBmX: i think i could be in a boy band tho
ryanizzzzle: haha
NaStYRiderBmX: just the guy that doesnt sing
NaStYRiderBmX: the bad ass guy in the background doing sum horrible dance
ryanizzzzle: haha
NaStYRiderBmX: and you can be the guiotar player who is never seen or thanked for ne thing that makes nothing
NaStYRiderBmX: now we just need sum other mebers for the droup and band
ryanizzzzle: haha
NaStYRiderBmX: no ne dumb guys who can lip sing horrbile songs while looking stupid but making chick horny?
ryanizzzzle: umm
ryanizzzzle: me
NaStYRiderBmX: ok that will work i guess
NaStYRiderBmX: maybe kyle to
NaStYRiderBmX: ok here your the quite guy that no one knows about and kyle is the loud mouth all that and im the poser bad ass
ryanizzzzle: haha
NaStYRiderBmX: you think eric can be the guy who has doubts in himself and is kelouis of the all that guy? or should that be devyn?
ryanizzzzle: devybn
ryanizzzzle: he already acts that way
NaStYRiderBmX: ok
NaStYRiderBmX: we need one more guy
NaStYRiderBmX: but i dont know what part he would be
ryanizzzzle: the one who sticks out
ryanizzzzle: how aobut john giles
ryanizzzzle: the hick
NaStYRiderBmX: ok
NaStYRiderBmX: yea the guy who dosnt belong
NaStYRiderBmX: bam we now have a boy band
NaStYRiderBmX: whats the name for it?
ryanizzzzle: Q.U.E.E.R.
NaStYRiderBmX: queens. urin, elephants, end, right?
ryanizzzzle: umm
NaStYRiderBmX: queens, urin, eats, everyone, (bit) rick?
NaStYRiderBmX: (but*)
ryanizzzzle: umm
ryanizzzzle: no,.
ryanizzzzle: quagmire uterus ecstacy enema rah rah rah
NaStYRiderBmX: lol
NaStYRiderBmX: ok why not lol
NaStYRiderBmX: or we could be G.A.Y. guys angainst youth
NaStYRiderBmX: against
ryanizzzzle: or the "pessimistic islams slamming socialism"
NaStYRiderBmX: yea i like that one
ryanizzzzle: dude i cant kick
NaStYRiderBmX: kick what a football?
ryanizzzzle: no its a name
ryanizzzzle: d.i.c.k.
NaStYRiderBmX: yea ok
NaStYRiderBmX: thats so our name
ryanizzzzle: how about "democrats under massive bombardment"
NaStYRiderBmX: idk im no democrat
ryanizzzzle: ahha today i talk stupid
NaStYRiderBmX: sounds like a punk bad tho
ryanizzzzle: tits
NaStYRiderBmX: hmmm
NaStYRiderBmX: ok tits or dick
ryanizzzzle: tits is taken
ryanizzzzle: its been done.
NaStYRiderBmX: damn
NaStYRiderBmX: fine dick
ryanizzzzle: sailboats hurt international teamwork
NaStYRiderBmX: lol
NaStYRiderBmX: she hates in time
ryanizzzzle: dogs or unicorns chasing horses everywhere
NaStYRiderBmX: hmmm it needs to sound boy bandish tho
ryanizzzzle: yeah it does
ryanizzzzle: deal with it
ryanizzzzle: we are douche
NaStYRiderBmX: idk we are shit sounds better
NaStYRiderBmX: . I want to have children in the future(..maybe)
you dont want a baby?
ryanizzzzle: "chefs raising angry boiling spaghetti
NaStYRiderBmX: lol
ryanizzzzle: fuck a grayhound
NaStYRiderBmX: fuck a grannie
NaStYRiderBmX: lol
ryanizzzzle: fruits are good
NaStYRiderBmX: yea
NaStYRiderBmX: thats it
NaStYRiderBmX: f.a.g. (fruits are good
NaStYRiderBmX: )
ryanizzzzle: balancing ovals over bubbling sharks
NaStYRiderBmX: no we are F.A.G.!!!!!!
Current Mood: [mood icon] cheerful
Current Music: every rose has a thorn by posin

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08:41 pm - stuff i did or do is bold
01. I miss somebody right now
02. I don't watch much TV these days
03. I love olives
04. I love sleeping
05. I own lots of books
06. I wear glasses or contact lenses
07. I love to play video games
08. I've tried marijuana
09. I've watched porn movies
10. I have been in a threesome
11. I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship
12. I believe honesty is usually the best policy
13. I have acne free skin
14. I like and respect Al Sharpton
15. I curse frequently
16. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year
17. I have a hobby
18. I've been told I: can suck the chromes off a trailer hitch. ; D
19. I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me
20. I'm really, really smart
21. I've never broken someone's bones
22. I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal
23. I hate the rain
24. I'm paranoid at times
26. I need money right now!
27. I love Sushi
28. I talk really, really fast sometimes
29. I have fresh breath in the morning
30. I have semi-long hair
31. I have lost money in Las Vegas
32. I have at least one brother and/or one sister
33. I was born in a country outside of the U.S.
34. I shave my legs (females) or face (males) on a regular basis
35. I have a twin
36. I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past
37. I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.

38. I like the way that I look sometimes
39. I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months
41. I am usually pessimistic
42. I have a lot of mood swings
43. I think prostitution should be legalized
44. I think Britney Spears is hot
45. I have cheated on a significant other in the past
46. I have a hidden talent
47. I'm always hyper no matt! er how m uch sugar I have.
48. I think that I'm popular
49. I am currently single
50. I have kissed someone of the same sex
51. I enjoy talking on the phone
52. I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants
53. I love to shop.
54. I would rather shop than eat
55. I would classify myself as ghetto.
56. I'm bourgie and have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders
57. I'm obsessed with my online journal
58. I don't hate anyone. (i just don't associate myself with them)
59. I'm a pretty good dancer
60. I don't think Mike Tyson raped Desiree Washington
61. I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother
62. I have a cell phone
63. I believe in God
64. I watch MTV/Vh1 on a daily basis
65. I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months
66. I love drama
67. I have never been in a real romantic relationship before
68. I've rejected someone before
69. I currently have a crush on someone
70. I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life
71. I want to have children in the future(..maybe)
72. I have changed a diaper before
73. I've called the cops on a friend before
75. I am a member of the Tom Green fan club
76. I'm not allergic to anything
77. I have a lot to learn
78. I have dated someone at least 10 years older or younger
79. I plan on seeing Ice Cube's newest "Friday" movie
80. I am very shy around the opposite sex sometimes

81. I'm online 24/7, even as an away message
82. I have at least 5 away messages saved

83. I have tried alcohol or drugs before
84. I have made a move on a friend's significant other in the past
85. I own the "South Park" movie
86. I have avoided assignments at work/school to be on Xanga or Livejournal
87. When I was a kid I played "the birds and the bees" with a neighbor or chum
88. I enjoy some country music
90! . I thin k that Pizza Hut has the best pizza

91. I watch soap operas whenever I can
92. I'm obsessive, anal retentive, and often a perfectionist
93. I have used my sexuality to advance my career
94. I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all
95. I know all the words to Slick Rick's "Children's Story"
96. Halloween is awesome because you get free candy
97. I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it
98. I have dated a close friend's ex
99. I'm happy as of this moment
100. I was born in the 80s but I am truly a child of the 90s
101. I haven't showered in two days. . . and I like it.
102. I'd rather be in England than anywhere else.
103. Im obsessed with getting manicures/pedicures
104. I want to visit Italy either for the first time or again...
105. i love noodles
106. if cheese pizza was a person id love that person
Current Mood: [mood icon] weird
Current Music: linkin park, (in the end)

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August 26th, 2004


09:09 pm - this goes back to the girl who gave it to me
Have you ever wondered which hurts the most?
Saying something and wishing you hadn't?, or
Saying nothing and wishing you had?

I guess the most important things are the hardest things to say.Don't be afraid to tell someone you love them.

If you do, they might break your heart...if you don't, you might break theirs.


Have u ever decided not 2 become a couple because you were so afraid of losing what you already had with that person?

Too many of us stay walled up because we are too afraid to care too much...for fear that the other person does not care as much, or even at all.

Have you ever denied your feelings for someone because your fear of rejection was too hard to han! dle?

But every time we tell a lie, the thing we fear grows stronger.

Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump.

Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have done, or could have had.

* What would you do if every time you fell in love you had to say good-bye?

*What would you do if your best friend died tomorrow and you ! never got to tell them how you felt? (even if it is that you don't care anymore)

*What would you do if you loved someone more than ever and you couldn't have them?


People live, but people die. I want to tell you that
you are a friend.

If you died tomorrow (God Forbid)

you would bein my heart.
Would I be in yours?

If you care about me as much as I care about you

you will send this back

You might be best friends one year, pretty good friends the next year, don't talk that often the next, and don't want to talk at all the year after that.

So, I just wanted to say, even if I never talk to you again in my life, you are special to me and you have made a difference in my life,

I look up to you, respect you, truly cherish you , most of all I CARE about friends


Send this to all your friends, no matter how often you talk, or how close you are, and send it to the person who sent it to you.


Let old friends know you haven't forgotten them, and tell new friends you never will.


Remember, everyone needs a friend someday you might feel like you have NO FRIENDS at all, just remember this e-mail and takecomfort in knowing
somebody out there cares about you and ..... always will..
Current Mood: [mood icon] mellow
Current Music: brain mcknight-back at one

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July 7th, 2004


11:43 pm

today sucked josh crashed......

 

 

R.I.P. JOSH'S MX6 YOU WERE ONE HELLA FAST CAR AND ALWAYS WILL  BE!!!!! WE LOVED YOU  MAN


Current Mood: [mood icon] crushed
Current Music: SUM SHIT

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June 16th, 2004


12:06 am - hmm
yea well today was good enought to write about....first kyle comes over at like 11 and we go down to his house to play halo and as a joke thinking no one with call i put his cell phone number in my aways message...well.....greg called it lol.....but it was cool cuz then he came over....and we hung out at the bike track for hours...and then i got cassie to come over.....and then finally KAYLA come to :) i love her lol we went threw som many hard times.......and ne thing i said befor about her i take back adn start new....so she came over adn we  hung with greg and josh for a bit......then we came to my house and jus sat around talking...and then ryan came over after taking cassie home...and then he left and we talked sum more.......i tlak to her alot....but its cuz i like her.....yea and then now she finally left :( adn she went walking home this fucking late it worrys me....but hses gonna call me tomarrow morning....and i think we will hang again if not tomarrow the next day lol...yea i wanna see a movie with her or go swimming tomarrow at cassie's...and then hang with greg more lol...hes cool
Current Mood: [mood icon] worried
Current Music: lil jon-get low

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May 19th, 2004


09:31 pm - "dude its a lama"
yup wow today sucked eric was sick we couldnt go to the track and hang i was bored outa my mind i hung with ryans lil bro for a bit and fixed his bike ryan took apart....then i played bball and worked out a lil bit....yes...i worked out for once...then i came onlie and talked to crystal and brittany for a bit and then they left me :( so im bored again so im writing uselless stuff to no one cuz no one every reads this......oh well...YAY i might hang out with kc this weekend if she wants to i havnt seen her in a long time....but yea and im prolly going to see crystal...but thats all ttyl bye......why do i say that no one reads this
Current Mood: [mood icon] lazy
Current Music: rock fist

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May 18th, 2004


01:26 pm - cha ching
What will your Funeral be like?
by rashock
Username
You will die by:Terrible animal attack while you were out hiking in the mountains. Seemed that you made good animal food, definately a closed casket.
Death Date:November 13, 2057
Number attending your funeral?112
How much will you leave to friends and family?$4,397,624
Created with the ORIGINAL MemeGen!

Current Mood: [mood icon] amused
Current Music: linkin park-crawling

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May 17th, 2004


10:38 pm - WEAK
yo doggs whats crackin wish sumone actully read this stuff but im bored so yea ill write in here...yea im really pissed off cuz i watched chris beat the hell off his lil sister heather today:( i feel so bad for her and i really wanna kick his  ass now...yea then jim adn tina came donw to the bike track and got high like normal..and me and kyle hung around with the little kids heather kaylin tristin brett it was ok tho its kinda fun but yea im gone laters
Current Mood: [mood icon] amused
Current Music: blink 182 - reckless abanden

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May 16th, 2004


11:10 pm - la la la

Well this once a weekend to rember....friday night was pritty fun i walked arounf menomonee falls with ryan and eric.....and then on sat. me kyle ryan and eric all hung out and later that nigth we hung out with the lil 7th graders brett heather sam and many more haha..and then me ryan and eric had a lil jam out at heathers later that night oh....and befor that this gay guy tomas came and told me he was gonna kill me everyone was like were you scared or laughin well i was laughin cuz its pritty damn funny when a gay guy is gonna beat me....yea then we had that jam from about 9:30 till 11 and then we all came back to my house for the night to havce the cops come around 12:30.....damion crahsed his motorcycle and was banged up really bad and left the bike burn and the cops wanted him....well i guess what happen is he was going to fast hit sun lose gravle and slid out the bike on his side....and then he got back up thought he fixed it and tried to start it well the spark pulg wire was off and gas alll over the motor and when gas and spark meet we all know what happens.....so yea hes burn pritty good to and scared shitless he said  hes never gonna ride aagain...and then today me and kyle and heather sat around playing poker then went and got ryan to come down adn jam out we made a band "the piranha strike"  kyle sings im on guitar possblie ryan on drums and eric on bass we haev to see haha never know this started as a joke but now we actully kinda wanna do it...yea well we will seee what happens it will be cool

ttyl peeps....even tho no body ever leaves coments or looks at this  :(


Current Mood: [mood icon] grateful
Current Music: playing ryans guitar....stay together for the kids

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May 12th, 2004


08:52 pm - a nice lil story

We started out at 4pm, ate the tabs and called for a cab to take us to the hills where we wouldn't be bothered by reality. Earlier that day we wrote down our address on a piece of paper and took it with us, in the event that we wanted to go home before we sober up, we could hand the paper to the cab driver, and he would handle the rest.

The hills are about a 10 minute drive from the house. As soon as we arrived, I was already feeling funny. There was a porta potty nearby, so I went in. My friends were talking outside and the sounds were noticebly strange. We hiked for about 10 minutes, and I was feeling really tingly, and could not stop smiling! Now it had been about a total of thirty minutes since we dropped. I was amazed at the speed of the effects coming on. Walking down the trail a little more now, things are buzzing, butterflies are cicling with magnificant trails following, like a million rays of light, all red and yellow. There were two ladies walking their dogs that stopped to chat about 30 feet away from us. This made me really uncomfortable. I was beginning to feel the paranoia that I always do, but a little stronger this time. At first I could make out what the two ladies were saying, but within a couple of minutes, it was all a bunch of mush.....just like Charlie Brown's mom.

We moved to a different spot, as hard as it was for me to walk at this point. My legs felt like rubber, and I could not stop laughing. At this point the hallucinations were starting. I thought there were 10 or so people walking around, all with dogs. I asked my boyfriend if it was real, and he said no. Laying on the grass for about another hour or so I think......15 seconds seems like an hour sometimes. My boyfriend was running up and down the hill like he was a mad man, just full of energy saying 'Yahoo, isn't this fun??' I could not move. I wanted something, but I wasn't quite sure what it was. I could just not get comfortable, so we moved again. This time into a crater-like bowl shape on the side of a hill. Getting really dark now, there were so many things to see in this 'crater'. Trees moving, faces forming within the rocks and making faces at me, the grass breathing. I suddenly felt like the crater was closing in on me. I could no longer see the light at the end of the tunnel. I got scared and wanted to go home. Uneasy, and not wanting to spoil everyone else's time, I went with the flow.

Next we moved up to the top of the hill where we get an incredible view of the freeway and all of the lights. It was cold, and scary out there. I was at a place where I just wanted to stare at the lights with all of the energy shooting off in the sky. The clouds forming animals and people dancing. I could not focus my eyes on one single thing, they were jumping all over the place. I think one of the reasons I didn't have a better time is because it was dark, and I could not tell if there was someone (from reality world) standing right in front of me or not. I had to remind myself that I was not going to stay like this. 'It's just a drug' I kept telling myself. My wonderful man sitting there trying to comfort me but it just wouldn't work. Suddenly a BRIGHT light goes on in the residential area below us. My boyfriend yells 'Everybody Down!' We lay there in complete silence. I could hear all of our hearts beating LOUD. I thought it was a cop and we weren't supposed to be there. The most horrible things were going through my head. I was afraid I would be forced to talk to him or something. Then the light goes off.

I was still afraid to look. Finally my man says 'It's ok, it was only somebody's motion sensor light in their yard.' Holy smokes. My pupils were so huge, that a mere porch ligh from 200 feet away seemed like a cop spotlight. At this time I convinced everyone to go home. I wanted a comfortable place that I was farmiliar with. We ventured on down the hill throught these massive sticks sticking out of the ground as tall as we were all around us. We obviously lost track of the trail, and could not find it. I was practically running down the hill, frightened almost like someone was chasing me. My boyfriend kept trying to hold me back and slow me down. This only made me feel worse. I was still peaking really good. I could see the end of the trail that meets the main road. It would look like it was 10 feet in front of my face. I would take 30 more steps, and look up, and I was still as far away from the end as I was the last time I looked. This went on for another 10 - 15 minutes, or so I thought before we were level.

We were now walking through a swamp that was about 1 foot deep. I felt like I was sinking in quick sand. When we got out of the swampy area I reached down to feel my pants, only to find that they were completely dry! Not even any mud. :) Hehe. Phew, almost home free, then CRAP! We have reached a freakin' dead end. A wire fence all the way areound us. But this was never here before??? AAAAAHHHHH.....I think everyone was a little freaked out about this. It was a very trapped feeling, almost clausterphobic. I remember hearing screams from a child near by and parents yelling. I started running. We found the end of the fence, and called a cab. How did my boyfriend call a cab??? How could he possibly even speak? This made me think he was coming down, and I didn't like the feeling of having to finish my peak alone. Waiting for the cab on the curb for what seemed like a whole night, listening to my boyfriend talk about normal real things like the economy, and buying a house someday. I just could not comprehend this. Here comes five pairs of headlights!

Yeah, the cab is here. We walked towards the van, waving it down. When it stops, we realize it wasn't a cab, it was a mom with a carload of kids inside. Boy, she must have thought we were loopy. I am discouraged once again. The next car that came was in fact the cab. We got in and looked at the strange looking man about to take our lives into his hands. He never said a word to us. It was like he sensed our energy or something. Going up and down hills felt like a roller coaster ride, hearing all of the creaks and cracks inside the car, with the radio on so low, but yet it was like we were at a concert. Stop lights stayed red for an eternity, watching 500,000 cars in cross traffic going by. It was hard to make out where we were even though I've lived here for 12 years.

Still peaking in the cab, as soon as we got home and walked inside it was like the world came back all within 10 seconds. I was no longer peaking, but still feeling effects. We put on the Doors, and it rocked us to sleep.

Next time, I am going to do it all during the day time. I can't fight it. I really just have to go with it. I am humble, and bow down to the acid gods. Pretty powerful stuff.

 

thats about a girl on an acid trip its kinda funny........

 

 

yea as you can see im pritty bored looking up stupid things nothings really new. jus been pissed cuz i cant ride cuz its so damn muddy out and im like loseing my skills (that i dont have) everyday haha i cant lose ne more time to this or i'll forget how to ride. oh well im jus gonna chill this weekend with eric most likey nothign better to do


Current Mood: [mood icon] bored
Current Music: blink 182-reckless abandment

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May 7th, 2004


07:57 pm - so much time to waste
yup well nothing really new here...made most of our how to ride a dirt bike video today for my friend jesse...i got htis really cool bike for the weekend jim's hoffman i love this bike im gonna ask it out haha i bet it wonnt turn me down..of course its friday night and i sit here alone....damn i need a g\f..all my buds ditched me i guess a girl will be kool. yea im out gonna go ride my bike
Current Mood: [mood icon] bored
Current Music: everything ends-Slipknot

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May 6th, 2004


12:28 pm - its been a long week
well its been a long tima and im jus to busy to update lately. sorry folks who even look at this....if sum one does. yea well lets see.....ive been spending all my time trying to get better at dirt bmxing so i can mabey enter a comp. by the end of the summer...hopefully...and now im jus to warn down and messed up to ride for a few days so ill update when i can like rite now....i swear i dont have ne skin on my knees its all scabs and blood from rideing...my right arm is useless...i cant move it..ive tried to hard and came up short.....but im not gonna give up..ive been work on a few tricks now....x-up barspin turndowns they seem easy but its not whne you a few feet in the air and you body says h\o for dear life and jus land but you gotta over come the fear and jus let go and hope you land....we got a pritty nice track now....yea i dont have much time for ne thing else...all tho i put a lil time away each weekend for my lil life with ryan devyn crystal and kayla in our sussex walks so much fun....but yea i reall gotta get better at this bmx thingy i need a new bike and im on my way up now.


step 1. no fear and try all jumps (check)
2. land few jumps(check)
3.land all jumps on almost every try(check)
4. start to try tricks(check)
5. land trick
6. land bigger tricks
7. get new bike and do the same
8. enter in a small comp.
9. get good place in comp.'s
10. get small deal for riding and have ryan take ne pics i need for that.
Current Mood: [mood icon] tired
Current Music: Stand by me-Pennywise

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March 10th, 2004


10:45 pm - my final update
AUG. 23 2004 the final day i will know all my friends the day i will wanna die the day i lose my house the first full day im 16 and the day i will always hate!! god why do you do this to me i wonder if you even care for me why god why do you make me wanna die! Screaming in the darkness,
Clawing my own skin.
Must I face another daybreak,
In the state of mind I’m in.
The night has eyes to see,
The pain my heart feels deep.
As the moon glows up high,
Another night I can’t sleep.
Pacing across the floor,
As tears fall from my eyes.
Dreading each moment passing,
Knowing what waits at sunrise.
Another day of troubles,
Another day of regret.
Times in my life so hopeless,
Days I just wish to forget.
Cold listless moments,
That I live here all alone.
Wondering why life is this way,
Seems all hope is forever gone.
Broken is this heart,
That weeps throughout the night.
Lost is the feeling of living,
Nothing but darkness in sight.
Screaming deep down inside,
Wanting to find my way out.
As shadows cast on the wall,
I finally have strength to shout.
Why oh why I ask,
Must life be this way?
Why oh why,
Must I face another day?
Death would be better,
I feel it would be best.
For that’s the only way I see,
To get this trouble off my chest.
Hard as it may sound,
So easy that would be.
If only another tomorrow,
These eyes just wouldn’t see.
Screaming in the dark,
As the pain sets in my soul.
Clawing at my own skin,
I lose all my self control.
Why oh why,
Is there any reason for this?
I know in my dying heart,
Tomorrow I would not be a miss.
Time keeps on ticking,
Back and forth the floor I pace.
Why oh why,
Must tomorrow I always face?
Always the same,
Nothing ever changes things.
I’m stuck with this life,
And what tomorrow always brings.
Screaming in the night,
As tears continue to fall down my cheek.
Why oh why,
I ask with no answer to speak.
Losing my sanity,
As the night turns to day.
No sleep at all,
Yet the problems never go away.
The sun rises,
And the tomorrow I dreaded is here.
Why oh why,
As I wipe away another tear.


Have you ever felt a chill all around?
Because I do now
Have you ever felt alone completely?
Because I do now

Have you ever wished for it to be warm?
Because I do now
Have you ever wished for conversation from her?
Because I do now

Have you ever dreamed of a happy life?
Because I do now
Have you ever dreamed of comfort and caring, a hug?
Because I do now

Have you ever wanted just a simple saying?
‘It’ll get better, it’ll be okay’
Because I do now
Have you ever wanted something so bad?
Because I do now

I feel coldness from everyone
I wish for resolutions in my life
I dream of time with friends


Have you ever…
Because I do now…
PRAY FOR ME


as i am growing up,

We were very, very poor

Hunger, our constant companion

My mommy had her pride

To ask for help was prohibited

As kids we too had that pride

Our clothes may have been patched

But they were always clean

No one ever knew we were hungry

We always held our heads high

Our backs were straight

When we met you

We looked you right in the eye

So you can see why it's so hard

For me to ask for help of any kind

But now, I find I need my friends help

I need all of you, to pray for me

This has been a very hard month

My pain has been almost unbearable

Twice, it has reduced me to tears

First time I've cried from pain in years

Even my hands have been hurting

Making typing very hard to do

So I'm asking you to understand

When I don't comment on every poem

But most of all, I am asking

Will you please, pray for me???




i deacate that last poem to sumone
Current Mood: [mood icon] sad
Current Music: areosmith -Dream on.......i cant not dream ne more tho

(Leave a comment)

March 8th, 2004


11:37 pm - hey
hey there my lil friends (or ppl in t.v.land) what is crackin dawgs? yeah well girls cofuse me. one min they love you the next they hate you. what the hell make up your mind. lol yeah so i worked today. yeah i work 6 days a week and it sucks. but i saw sum neat ppl around there today. includin lee. hes awesome i wanna work for him. yeah and i thinkk i still wanna be with sami?!?! but im confused about it. so idk what to do. wait yes i do. ill lisen to a ton of music that always works. or ill talk to my wife about it.(im her bitch lol) yeah so whats with you ppl dont you like me i know you look at this and you dont even leave a comment grrrrr i end on this angry note good bye t.v. land and good night lil midgets under my bed.
Current Mood: [mood icon] confused
Current Music: thursday-war all time

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March 6th, 2004


11:27 am
thursday
Thursday is writing your life story!you're more
concerned with the bigger issues of life rather
than high school drama. this is all well and
good, but don't get so caught up in your
figurative language that it seems like you're
speaking Nepalese. like that's a language.


Which Band Is Writing Your Life's Story?
brought to you by Quizilla



thats cool with me
Current Mood: [mood icon] amused
Current Music: thursday-cross out the eyes

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12:25 am - why another day
hey my ppl what is up? does ne one even read my journal ne more? no one ever leaves ne coments so sad. yeah so tomarrow night gonna be cool. yeah well so much for sami lol. well o well. yeah whooa did you know im rows secret lover? cuz i didnt lol. yeah shes awesome i love her as much as she loves me lol if she loves me? yeah well im so damn bored its not funny now i work 6 damn days a week eh more then ne one in this house. yeah ugh i gotta get a g\f . so lonely (sigh)
Current Mood: [mood icon] blank
Current Music: mudvayne-death blooms

(Leave a comment)

March 4th, 2004


11:01 pm - hey kids its story time
hey been awhile hey yeah w\e like you care ne ways yeah me and sami are going out this is so kick ass lol. yeah so we got a couch rite and we put wheels on it rite and we rode it down the streets and then the cops pulled us over. yes the damn cops cuz yeah they did it was funny. so then we moved it into the feild on the corner and sat ther for a coup hours. waste time and make ppl luagh thats what happened. but yeah we are gonna ride it down a huge ass hill on sat. come watch. and then we are gonna burn it later that night. wanna come join? your welcome to if you wanna. it be fun i promise lol yeha i love sami so much. thats all later skaters! peace out punks!
Current Mood: [mood icon] crazy
Current Music: the transplants-dj.dj.

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